Right now, I'm giving a full listen to Eugene McDaniels' "Headless Heroes of the Apocalypse," sampled by the Beastie Boys and Tribe Called Quest and re-hashed, in part, by the Breakestra. So it's gettin' funky over here, so later it'll get fon-kay ovah dere. There might even be an "All-Ohio" section of the evening's musical feast, look out for that excitement. Now, for the featured presentation...
Vertical Slumbecue 2004
Yes indeed sir, Grand Lord Nappius of the Land of Bread that Shall Forever be Flav-o-rized by Pepperoni and I went to the first annual Vertical Slumbecue at Little Brothers on Saturday night. This event was put on by the Vertical Slum, a cool webzine thingy that can probably explain itself better than I can right here.
First of all, it was an adventure just getting there. The afternoon started with a renting and viewing of "Suckerpunch," an unsung classic of modern cinema that uses vulgarity and Greg Nice for the best purposes ever (kinda like me). Then came the first challenge. I think Nappius has a mutiny on his hands, because one of his "faithful" house cats decided to run out beneath his foot while he was walking down the stairs and...pwned! Andy (this Nappius stuff is getting lame fast) fell down the stairs and ended up banging up his shoulder pretty good. But after putting ice on it for about 10 minutes, he decided that there was a mission to be pursued and we set off for the rock, still showing up in time for a few songs of the opening act! For this, I have decided (yes, I have this power) to award Andy Q. Napier (the Q stands for Quintilius, he hides it because it's not unique) the Rock 'n Roll Purple Heart. This puts a fine cap on an outstanding week for the young fella, who had already garnished the distinction of getting a drinking move named after him. Yes, Chops was inspired by Q's (you know, his family likes using their middle names) example and decided that drinking to drown out your hunger should be referred to as "pulling a Napier." Yes, that Napier is an example to us all.
Anyway, there's some rock to be discussed (it's about time, I was starting to think I was writing a Captain Underpants book or some shit). The aforementioned opening band was Cleveland's Dreadful Yawns, the first of many fine acts that could be loosely described as folk-rock. After their fine set, Chris McCoy (Dayton, I guess) and his band played some mo' quality folk-rock. This is around the time Andy and I caught our first round of tasty BBQ pork sammiches served off of the pool table in the back. This event lived up to its name, and then some! Then came Wussy from Cinn City, who were alright but not too rockin' (though it could be my chauvinistic bias against some female lead singers). I think this is where the ill-fated "Side Stage" was first put into use for the night. First up was Tiara's Eric Metronome (Bustown), whose fare was pretty but a little too light for me. And as discussed here, among other things, it was a tough setup for the acoustic side-stagers to succeed in. Then came another set of Columbus heroes, Moviola, whose Scotty Tabachnick played his last set with the band. Sad stuff. I've liked these guys since I read about an awesome new record from a magical Columbus band in that week's issue of CMJ back in college and thought, "damn, I don't care if my radio station ain't cool, we NEED that!" More bands need to split the lead-singing role amongst everyone in the band like that. Mellowed-out bliss. Then came a side-stage performance from Adam Smith (somewheres in Southern Ohio?), whose wacky, almost-Redbone-esque 30s stylee was pretty sweet (make counterfeit money all daaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy). Next up on the main stage was the last Columbus act of the night, the Bygones, another band I first heard in college. They were definitely the rockinest band we saw, yet still had some of that folk to 'em. Then came the last set on the side stage (others were scheduled, but didn't happen) from Dayton's Wil Cope, okay I guess. Then came the band who traveled the furthest to this shindig, San Francisco's Court and Spark, who kicked out still more folk-rock jamz! I would have picked up some merch if the wallet had given me permission. Then, after a side-stage-performance-less changeover, came the evening's only real misstep in my eyes: a woman (later identified by those in the know as Scout Niblett) announced she was gonna play a few songs, and then came the pain. I guess those were songs, as the folks at that online discussion listed above claim her as an A-list talent of some indie sort, but damn, right about then, she was doing NOTHING for me. One song featured verses that would quickly build in volume, then immediately collapse again. Another one featured her making one-syllable noises on the beat. She also switched from guitar to drums, only to switch back to guitar when her boyfriend (Dave from Swearing at Motorists, the next band on the bill) started playing drums. I'm not proud to admit, but the frustration of spending five hours in smoke-filled Little Brothers only to be subjected to that led me to yell for "Freebird." I had to. I don't think it drove her back across the pond, don't worry. So when the Motorists (Dayton again) finally hit the stage, Matches Malone and I were ruined for the night. The lead singer was funny, most of the songs rocked, and the audience was with them 200%, but we were just too worn out to get into it. We made it through their set, but decided to leave before the headliner, Jason Molina aka Magnolia Electric Company (formerly of Songs: Ohia), and it sounds like we missed a good set, but I doubt we would have gotten much from it. So, in conclusion, the first annual Vertical Slumbecue was an awesome, praiseworthy event, with just a couple slight flaws. See ya next year, fellas.
Dammit Matches, you had to use your blog to hype up a review over here, didn't you? See what you get! Enjoy, y'alls, and if you need local recommendations for the next three nights, read below.
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