We got the jazz, we got the jazz

Boomin in ya, boomin in ya, boomin in ya jeep. Sorry, had a serious Tribe craving as I started this post. Maybe it's cuz people are concerned for/tired of Q-Tip all of a sudden. Eh. I did need some Tribe, so it's all good. The rest of this week shalt be busy:
Weds: Modest Mouse/Camper van Beethoven @ Promowest Pavilion
Thurs: Digable Planets/Grandmaster Flash/Procussions/Lab Rats/Whoever @ Agora (Cleveland CMJ Fest)
Fri: Renkes Jam @ Renkes Jamspot
Sat: You know the deal, scroll down for "June 11"
Sun: ECW PPV, 'Kwon wants to go to Bernies afterwards!

OSU Springfest

Damn, this was pretty sweet. I got to the East Oval (I guess) around 5:45, and as I turned the corner towards the stage, the joyous sounds of "Serious Knife Fight" by Tree of Snakes greeted my ears. The boys rocked the sunny, sweaty stage, with crowd assistance on such jams as "I Am Lion" and "Yellow Snow." Next up was Blueprint. As usual, he had a pretty good set of hip-hop entertainment, with assistance from DJ Rare Groove and DJ PRZM on the beatbox. He did alot of tracks from the new album, which is dope, and some remixes and whatnot. My favorite moment was when Bru Lei arrived during "Tramp," a song from the new album where Print tells a story about a tramp that lied about having slept with Bru. After the song, Print apologized for any trouble he might have caused with his fictional tale. Cute. Next up was Mouth of the Architect, a sludgy metal band from Dayton that was decent but a good time to take a break at Mama's Pasta 'n Brew. I came back to the end of Silencio's set, which was some local instrumental rock of average interest. Then came a set of two local bands that share the same drummer: Sweetheart and Dis Yourself. I think Sweetheart was first, and their two man + laptop instrumental rock-techno-jazz jams were cool. Dis Yourself (I think) was good when their thick metal jams were sans vocals, but the screaming kinda killed it for me. It's happened before. Next was Roosevelt Franklin, whose set, though slightly flawed, was probably my favorite of the night. Mr. Len and Kimani were a great comic duo, with Len ripping on Kimani from behind the wheels of steel and Kimani talkin shit, like any good MC would. Sure, Kimani did fuck up my favorite RF song, "Insomnia 411" (though "Muppet Love" and "Kurt Loder" are damn close, obviously), but they were fun, and fun to yell at. And I enjoyed the close of their set, where Mr. Len cued up "The Joker" and the Cheers theme and Kimani yelled at us to sing along. Good times. Next was Thunderbirds Are Now!, a Detroit dance-punk-rock-whatever band that would do well on the radio right about now. A few songs rocked, but their weird over-the-top stage antics were too much to handle. Unless you think a spastic, long-spiky-haired keyboardist walking around his keyboard while holding a chord is rock 'n roll. The Walkmen were the headliners, but despite some promising rock tunes, I ended up bored. The songs ended up lumbering too often and the singer's emotionally-screamed vocals didn't carry alot of weight. Oh well. I had alot of fun.

Saturday night, among my travels, I saw Terribly Empty Pockets and Moviola at Used Kids and Lori at Ravari, and all were good. Something about that night does not lend itself to story-telling.

Crazy Bill To Anticipate

Weds, June 29th, Skullys: Sound of Urchin, Moth, and Stretch Lefty (Release Party?!?). Crazy. I missed SOU a few months ago, and I was pissed. These crazy NYC dudes play wacky rock that can melt faces. Moth is an awesome, former-major label band from Cincy that I've wanted to see live again ever since my first CD101 Low Dough Show, at Flanagan's in '02 (so long ago that I completely forgot about it). And Stretch Lefty is a local reggae/lotsa other stuff band that I've also wanted to check out for a while. This must have coagulated through a billing experiment gone...right.

Well, I'm outie 5 billion. I'm gonna rock out with my cock out for the rest of the week, so wear a body condom!!! "Raow Raow! Like a dungeon dragon!"

Keep holdin!

Sorry Naps, no mind-blowing format changes this week. I haven't rocked too much since last week. I did make appearances at the System Link getdown on Weds (with Dave) and the Fonosluts' Memorial Day hip-hop show on Sunday night at Bernies (with Dave and Andy), but I have nothing insightful to say about either, sadly. There are many free shows this weekend, however, that I may or may not attend. Friday is Springfest, the yearly free show put on by OSU's student-run radio station, KBUX. Lotsa good performers, including Blueprint in an early slot (cuz he's playing the Scribble Jam Tour stop in Chicago the same night!!!), Roosevelt Franklin, Tree of Snakes, and headlined by the Walkmen. Saturday is a BYOCocktail party at Used Kids featuring Moviola and Terribly Empty Pockets, and also Hempfest on campus, including an 8:30 set from Illogic. Looks like a good time to me.

June 11th
As the faithful few already know, June 11th, 2005, is shaping up to be one of the greatest days of...the history of the world. In case you are being caught unawares and would like details, I will break it down in detail for you:

~11 AM: Wake up after thoroughly enjoying the Renkes' graduation/house-warming party, which will have been deejayed by yours' truly.
11:30 AM: Leave for Cleveland. This will be the weekend of the CMJ Minifest in that fair town. To make sure their hometown is represented properly, Exit Stencil Recordings is hosting a free BBQ/Showcase at the Beachland Tavern! The first band, Mystery of Two, is on at 1:00, but we don't know enough about them to leave that early.
2:00 PM: New Lou Reeds at BBQ.
3:00 PM: Peelander-Z at BBQ!
4:00 PM: Roue at BBQ!
5:00 PM: Leave for Columbus.
~7:30 PM: Clippers game. This is the shaky part. WWE Superstar Mick Foley is signing autographs at the game! No, THAT's not the shaky part. At press time, we are unsure whether Mr. Foley is appearing before/during/after the game. Obviously, since the game is a 7:05 start, a pregame appearance would conflict with the drive back from Cleveland.
~11:00 PM: Electric Grandmother Release Party for PEE SELLS...BUT WHO'S BUYING? at Cafe Bourbon Street. Wow, it's gonna be awesome! The Columbus-based sitcom-core pioneer will celebrate his 32-track, 65-minute epic with a bill that also includes the Ocean Ghosts, the Squares, and Johnny La Rock & Mush Mouth.

As you can see, June 11th will be the best day ever. GET READY!

June 7th

Sure, some other chumps like Coldplay and the White Stripes may be releasing albums next week, but if all goes according to plan, this coming Tuesday will also mark the release of Blame it On the Youth by Columbus' The Sun. If you don't know, start reading here. Or maybe check out the official site here. That's a fancy major label site right there. Anyhoo, this album has been liberally leaked (and burnt copies have been sold in stores), so I can honestly say that I like it alot. Even the softer, sweeter songs are nice, but most of the tunes rock pretty hard, one way or another. There are a few holdovers from the old EPs, but not too many. As a guy who has been a fan for over two years, I think you should buy the hell out of it! Now! And let's pray it's not delayed.

Well, I always do what Andy sez...

Even if it takes three days. Things have gone well since we last spoke. I deejayed a campus party on Friday night, like the bigshot I am. Other than some drunken douchebags demanding "rap" and scratching on my records, it went well. Dime-a-dog Night at the Coop on Monday was awesome (obviously), and the free listening parties/screenings at Skully's the last two nights (Gorillaz album Mon night, Common album AND Freestyle DVD Tues) were also rather sweet. Davekwon and I will venture to High Five tonight for the latest System Link jam, another "Hook and Sling" funk/soul dance party. Plans are still in development to see The Fucking Champs/Zombi/Boyjazz show in Cleveland Friday night, as Twyman is currently in the process of "manning up." Oh shit, almost forgot...

Major Announcement

Once again, a Funky D appearance at the Ravari is CANCELLED. It looks like I will not be spinning May 31, as the Ravari booking folk are being shady lately, I guess, and started scheduling bands on Tuesdays instead of maintaining the fine tradition of Wicked Lung & Wookalar's Smell the Vinyl night. We'll see what unravels in the future, and I'll keep you posted.

Hot Damn

On Saturday night, Renkes and I travelled to Cleveland for a rockabilly (sorta) show of epic proportions. It was the release party for Atomic Horsepower, the new album from Cleveland's Capgun Cowboys. The Cowboys feature Phil Verhoef (on acoustic guitar and trombone), who is a frat brother of ours. Anyhoo, they rocked the Beachland Tavern mightily! Some old jams, and plenty of new jams. They featured a couple of guests, including an attractive "electric fiddle" player from Columbus. Great stuff. Before and after their set, The Pussyfoot Girls, a burlesque troupe from Cleveland, "entertained" by dancing to old rock songs and wearing weird skimpy outfits. The show was officially headlined by rockabilly superstar Deke Dickerson and his Ecco-phonics. He came in on a mini-bike, which was fucking awesome. They had a bunch of great songs, including a fine anti-vegetarianism tune called "What's That Cookin?," but sadly we had to leave early to get back to Bustown. Phil is moving out to LA very soon to become a doctor of some sort, so we're glad we caught him/them while we could.

Finally

A week ago, Andy, Dave and I caught what is likely to be the funniest live performance all year, anywhere. This, of course, was the fine touring bill of Neil Hamburger and Pleaseeasaur at Bernies. Wow. For an awesome writeup, please read Andy's account here. I will simply tell you that these two performers were both hilarious. I first heard of Neil Hamburger about 4 years ago, so this show was a long time coming (Chops and I thought about a Cleveland show last year, but it was too much). Oh yeah, Chops should have been there. FUCK OSU! Anyway, Neil did not disappoint. I had heard some of the jokes before, but seeing them in person more than made up for that. And Pleaseeasaur was just crazy. Lotsa costume changes, funny slides (what the hell is purling, anyway?), and wacky stage presence. Quote of the night: "Actually, I'm Michael W. Smith, and this song is called 'I Hate Dog Shit.'" Wow. Check out both of these acts sometime.

Well, successfully updated again. I'm contemplating buying a new computer, which would facilitate more consistent updating, so if any loyal fans wanna contribute financially to this effort, HOLLA AT A PLAYA!!! Also, for future planning, June 11th may end up being the rockinest day in the annals of rock, so be prepared. Still working on making this site more entertaining (and comment-inducing), so hold your heads!

It was all good just two weeks ago...

Dayum. I hope you've enjoyed your two week vacation from this lonely blog. I've seen shows, been to places as far away as Washington, DC and Springfield, Ohio, and...other excitement. Actually, the real excitement is tomorrow night:

Neil Hamburger, "America's Funnyman," will be thrilling an audience of many, hopefully including Chops, Davekwon, and myself, at Bernie's Distillery here in Columbus. I can't think of a better place to see this show. Damn, it's gonna be awesome. And there's always the possibility of seeing Dick Dale on Thurs night. We'll see. Now...NEWS!!!

Return to the Ravari
Two weeks from tonight, Tuesday May 31st, I will be rocking the Ravari again with Wicked Lung & Wookalar. More funk, jazz, hip-hop, rock, and whatevz to be played. Be there, or DIE!

This Honky's Got Journalistic Integrity
Jeah. I'm now a "staff member" at The Vertical Slum, a fine Columbus-based music e-zine with record reviews and stuff. So check out the brand new TVS #9, This Monkey's Gone To Heaven, where the staff feature is little writeups on musicians who died before their time. My choice? Big L, of course. I also review the new Edan and By Divine Right (Ha! Got you good, you fucker!) albums, so check it out. I also have a snappy profile right here. Wow.

Showz
As mentioned two weeks ago, on the night of the 4th I wanted to see Electric Six and VHS or Beta at Skully's. I only managed to see VHS or Beta, and they rocked the faces of all, including Davekwon's (first time) and my own (umpteenth). Good ol Cinco de Cuatro. On Cinco de Mayo, I made it to Little Bros to see the end of the System Link MC Battle (Meta4ce didn't really win, him and Faus just decided to cypher at the end of their rounds and say fuck a battle). I also saw a set by Envelope & Amos Famous (though they rocked Fresh Prince beats, the crowd seemed disinterested) and an intimate set from Declaime/Dudley Perkins (w/J. Rawls on the decks) where he rapped and sang standing on the floor in front of 10-15 of us. Short, but cool.

Last Monday night Renkes and I got to see Garbage while I was covering the show for another music-type site here in town (Soon, allllll will be reveeeeeaaaaallllleed). Openers The Dead 60s were lame. Garbage did what they do, some sort of sultry despair, pretty well. More to come. I guess I didn't attend another show until Chops and I saw the grand Black Box event at Ruby Tuesdays on Saturday night. Many local bands rocked for a good cause.

0. Missed Times New Viking.
1. Arrived during Terribly Empty Pockets, they were good.
2. Heroes of History slayed everyone. Seriously though, as a hardcore Heroes fan (Kyle basically told me I was one, so there!), it was a good set and I liked the new material. Can't wait for the album!
3. The Blue Revision continued to slay.
4. Mors Ontologica crooned and careened aboot, unleashing their horn(y) rock upon us.
5. Necropolis' set was the best I'd ever seen from them. I was unimpressed the last time, but this time I was rocked into submission.
6. El Jesus de Magico rocked another quirky set. Maybe not as good as the Bring It! set, but still good.

Rants
1. Fuck Ticketmaster. I just got tickets for my cousin and I to see Modest Mouse and Camper van Beethoven at Promowest in June. The tickets were $25 a piece, which was bad enough. But the service charges, when I even avoided another charge for having printable tickets??? $17.50. Daaamn, that's some shit. Say it with me kids: MO-NO-PO-LY.

2. Fuck "Insider" Bars. I went to a certain bar near 5th and High Sunday night to see a band that includes a friend of mine. I had confirmed the show an hour earlier. Well, I got there, and there was no music on and nothing being set up. Also, the 6 or so staff and regulars drinking at the bar and watching TV gradually turn around to stare at me. Stupid. It turns out that the band decided not to show (probably due to the fact that there were no other bands slated to play with them), the bartender told me nicely. But everyone else there acted like I was a big intrusion on their (likely) paid night of "working" or hanging out, just because I showed up to a show that had been cancelled minutes before and that I should obviously be aware of. Stupid.

Now I feel better. I'll try to update more often. Pinky swear.

Like a boss

What up, bredren? Chillin, chillin. Things are pretty good ova here. I should be seeing Electric Six and VHS or Beta at Skullys tomorrow night, and the System Link MC battle featuring performances by Envelope and Dudley Perkins/Declaime (!?!?!?!?!?!) at Little Brothers on Thursday, so that will be a good setup for my weekend in DC! Good times. And oh yeah, here's some quick music discoveries, courtesy of my quarterly stop at Borders: Waylon Jennings has a son named Shooter who released an album two months ago called Put the "O" Back in Country. Awesome. Because life is fucking hard, the listening station at Borders, Amazon, and All Music (OK, maybe the last two are this computer's fault) have thwarted me in my attempts to sample this album, so maybe someday I'll hear it. Fuck. And oh yeah, Special Ed and US3 appear to have come out with albums in the past year. Goooood.

This Computer/The Internet Are Sapping My Soul

On Saturday, Andy and I attended the Blue Revision Release Party for Day Terrors at Cafe Bourbon Street. A bunch of other bands opened, but all we caught were the headliners and part of Times New Viking's set, which was aiight. Blue Revision rocked pretty hard. Their sound is a sort of dark rock, with some electronics and whatnot. They can rock pretty hard, just give em a chance. I'm listening to the rekkid right now, and it's pretty good. Bustown what!?

Wednesday, Todd and I went down to ye olde Promowest Pavilion for Muse and Razorlight. Way too many youngsters whose rocksticles have yet to drop attended the show, dammit. Oh well, it was fun. Razorlight was kinda lame. The band did nothing too exciting, and the music made me think of O'Springsteen lite at times. Also, the lead singer's mic blew and everyone involved seemed unable to solve this problem (like, you know, use another mic!), which didn't help. Luckily, Muse came on and rocked faces! They played the hits, and other stuff, and just unleashed an emotional maelstrom of moody rawk. I liked it.

Tuesday, Ashley, Andy and I ventured to the new Maximillian'z on Bethel for local faves The New Basics Brass Band. The boys rocked the place hard with horn funk, as they always do. They should be dropping an album in June sometime, according to their website, so check it out!

So I think I hit .500 for Aprock. Pretty good, if I may say so myself. Well, I'm tired and my technological hatred is welling up within me, so I suppose I should get out of here. I should be writing for some of them websites sometime soon maybe, so I'll keep y'all posted. Rock.