I got the internet goin nuts

I barely know who this Paul Wall character is, but since that phrase seems to be the cat's patoot these days, there it is. Anyhoo, I, Andrew "Funky D" Patton, am making my grand return to the airwaves of Wooster, Ohio tonight. I will be making an appearance on ol' David "Double D" Drake's show on WCWS 90.9 FM from 8 to 10. I don't know what he's getting into these days, but there will be some hip-hop I'm sure. Since I'm pretty sure most of my audience is NOT in Wooster, tune in here. Otherwise, enjoy some more dated rock reviews. My goal is to be caught up by the weekend.

More like DAAAAMBQ!!!

Really, that's all I got. So let's pick up where we left off. On the 7th, I had a one man mission to check out the shows at the Bourb and Rubys. The main goals of the night were to see DMBQ (above) from Japan and Shell Shag from San Francisco at the Bourb and We March from Athens at Rubys. I started at Cafe Bourbon Street, where The Vulvonics opened. It turns out that they are made up of at least 50% Taco Ninja employees, so I guess Bourb gigs are easy to come by for them. They were OK, but a little too nonsensical for me. After their set, I came to the realization that Shell Shag had cancelled, which seemed very possible all along (NOTE: If any Shell Shag members or "support staff" are reading this, PLEASE do something about your web presence. In my fact-finding mission about this potential show, all of my various google searches could not come up with your site. Instead, I always found my own blog. Cool, but frustrating), so I dipped to Ruby Tuesdays. Originally, our beloved Heroes of History were on this bill, but had to cancel when the cat from hell mauled Kyle the drummer's hands and arms, causing him to pass out and not be able to hold drumsticks for a while. Fucking boo. They were hangin out though, which was cool. Mors Ontologica kicked out their usual saxy jams, which was nice. Sadly, the place kinda cleared out for We March, but they still melted faces. Dirty hardcore/metal action. I'm glad I finally got to see them. You should too, start here. Then I went back to the Bourb for DMBQ. Damn. Four Japanese folks: Three guys with long hair (bassist had a fro with lights coming out of it) and a female drummer. Loud, psychedelic, head-bangin, strangely ethereal jams. The last song seemed to be about 15 minutes. All of a sudden, the guitarist started breaking down the drum set piece by piece and setting it up at the bar. When he had the whole set over there, she started drumming at the bar. The rest of the band went behind the bar, poured her a beer, and she chugged it while everyone cheered. Now there's a show closer! Awesome. Pick up some of their tunes from Estrus or check out the band's site.

On Saturday the 9th, Adam (thanks again, dude!), Keith, April and I went to CD101 Day at Promowest. Local band The Shatters kicked things off, and rocked pretty hard. Adam thinks their drummer (and Promowest's buckets of beer) is/are awesome. Next up was Ash from across the pond somewheres. I don't know what you call this, hard pop or heavy plastic or something. Cuz those were some loud, heavy guitars for "pop." And the chick in the band was hot. I liked it. Then The Bravery came on and did their thing. Not too exciting, but hearing "An Honest Mistake" live was funny. Then, in a super-change-of-pace, Australian poppy troubadour Ben Lee came on with his band. Cheesy feelgood pop. Pretty lame, and I just kept wondering how this wuss ever managed to date Claire Danes. But it was a good setup for...The Dresden Dolls!!! Wow, we were floored by this one. The Boston cabaret pop duo (piano and drums) rocked! Now, their single "Coin-Operated Boy" has a very polar effect on people. Either you love it, or you hate it (or you love it, it drives you insane, and then you hate it). But they turned out to be much different than that song, and cranked out some angsty pop jams. After a fine rendition of their hit (including the rumored raunchy lyrics), they followed it up the only way they knew how...with a rocktastic cover of "War Pigs," muthafucka! Damn, I didn't think it was possible with piano and drums, but it really is. Awesome set. Then, Akron, OH's own The Black Keys rounded out the night with their ass-shakin' two-man garage-blues. Another great set from them. Excellent entertainment for $5.

On Monday the 11th, I spent six hours in and around the Newport checking out bass wonder Victor Wooten and his band. Woof. Since their new record, Soul Circus, came out on Tuesday, he decided they would play until midnight so they could officially sell the record. So it was a three-hour plus funk workout. And at one point he came out with 8 arms on his body. Serious band (still don't like those keyboards, eh), serious tunes. They won me forever by ending with covers of "Can't Hide Love" by Earth Wind & Fire (didn't know the artist/title until that night, now it's officially my favorite EWF song) and "If You Want Me To Stay" by Sly & the Family Stone. Funky music, good people. Check out the Soul Circus, y'all!

The music is rap, my favorite color is math.